The Twin Situation: Making Comparisons

It has always been natural to see Strawberry and Ooffa as being separate. They’re a boy and a girl for a start! It is easier for others to acknowledge my twins as separate people too. However, it was different in the baby days, the attention from others was centered around that there were two babies in one pram, two nappy changes, two feeding, two needing held, identity didn’t come into it.
Tips To Enourage Individuality In TwinsBut now they are toddlers, every now and again the pet peeve of all twin mummy’s raises its ugly head: Comparing Twins.

Who was born first? Why is one walking and not the other? Why is one shy? Why …? The list goes on.

I know people mean well and curiosity is often the desire behind the question but having a total stranger accost you in the middle of the supermarket is not okay! Why do people want to know? What conclusion will you be drawing from my answers? Why is comparing them important?

I am lucky (in a sense) that I have a boy and a girl. I feel for my friends that have boy twins only or girl twins only. Not only do they have the questions from well meaning strangers but they probably have their own questions as to raising their children to be separate individuals.
Tips To Enourage Individuality In TwinsI think parents of twins recognise the importance of treating their twosome as two separate people right from the start.
Tips To Enourage Individuality In TwinsMy friend with twin boys always ensures one boy is dressed in dark colours the other in light colours. Being able to tell them apart allows you address the child by their name and see their individuality.

My other friend painted nail polish on a pinky of one of her boys to identify who was who.

And each twin IS unique. Accepting that and understanding that will help each child develop a healthy self-esteem.
Encouraging Twin Individualism
8 Ways I Plan To Encourage Individuality

· Separate birthday cakes.

· A few special toys that belong only to that child.

· One-on-one time separate from the other child.

· Take separate photos as well as photos together.

· Reward individual achievements.

· Compare against their peer group not with each other.

· Encourage separate friendships and try to have separate Play dates.

· Encourage their individual interests.

Having twins is really a unique and special circumstance to be a part of. I look forward to the years ahead and the wonderful people they are to become! What are your tips for helping your twins develop as individuals?

2 comments on “The Twin Situation: Making Comparisons

  1. I nannied for twins with their mummy when they were very tiny as she needed some help and they were babies, who would say no? I got this all the time and they were boy/girl set as well. I used to very gently answer ‘those’ questions with, ‘well, you can see they are different people, just the same as any other siblings, so we do our best to develop their individuality.’ It made it less frustrating. I do get it though, twins are interesting and a bit special and people, on the whole, mean well with their curiosity. I also looked after, at a different time, a pair of babies born to different families within 3 hours of each other. We had the same questions. I think the only real difference I found with two babies at the same-ish stage was both pairs seemed to work as a team to explore stuff much sooner and both were able to come up with ideas pre-verbally. Like the time the non-twins hid quietly under a bed for me to find them together. I was tearing the place apart, frantically trying to work out where they were when I heard giggling from under the bed!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge